This post is about a useful moment of my life when I realised that something in my life needed to be done to make me feel better about myself. I had done something like this years ago and reminisced when I started to look back on some old journals I kept from ten years ago. Having gone through this year out to resit has also been a moment for me to learn how to fix my situation.
I can remember many years ago I was giving up an old hobby and moving onto a new adventure. It didn’t work out like I expected it to because I have this habit of letting my mind wander onto other interests. I did find some good things to try anew like learning the guitar, saving money up for the future, reading fascinating science at the Open University and looking for new things to do. It did become quite an interesting turn of events but I only wish I could have done it properly.
Recently I learnt about this new method of personal development called resetting your life. It’s quite fascinating. As a matter of speaking about personal development I have decided to share with you how it can help your life get better. When I say to fix yourself I don’t mean to correct your neurodiversity and assume a normal brain, I mean to eliminate the parts of your life that are depleting your soul. It’s a technique that is used by addicts to clean and rehabilitate themselves.
Letting Go of the Past
At this point you are probably still experiencing angry and hateful thoughts about your past and wishing you could start your life all over. That’s not good for you. It encourages suicidal thoughts, obsessive resentment and a tendency to be destructive towards your friends and work colleagues.
Recognise where you are now. Start by writing a list of all the things that you have at the moment and what you are doing with yourself now. You are probably not happy with yourself right now and you want something better. Right.
Let the past be the past. You’ve had enough of those bad things and want to get them out of your life. You won’t be able to reset your life unless you let them go firmly.
One of my worst habits of being autistic is hoarding and collecting. I have a compulsive habit of attaching myself to something that I hold dear that it can make become more concerned about my personal interests rather than myself. Some of those things are never really used at all but preserved as precious things that I never use practically.
This is now a point in my life that I have come to realise that it has been overwhelming and is not doing me any good. Now I have decided to liberate myself and purge all of those things that no longer give me joy. They haven’t even got any use for me.
Ending these things are not a bad idea. They may have been useful to you in the past but now they are no good. They no longer serve you. If you have a habit of doing something for someone like what I have with volunteering at sports events but they are taking up too much of your time then get them out of your life. Make sure you do it without fear or judgement. This is about looking after yourself, not a good or bad moral.
Learn to Live in the Present
Reconsider your core values and what worth you have. Think about a good and meaningful thing that you have in your life that gives you satisfaction. Does it make you feel whole again just to revisit that one great objective in your life? Does it give you a sense of purpose?
If the answer is yes then write it down with five core values that are associated with it. The next time you make a decision remember these core values when going ahead with that decision.
Forgiveness is a liberating part of the process as well. I have some hard grudges that I hold onto in my life. That leads to be becoming filled with resentment and anger. It doesn’t do me any good because it blocks my ability to think.
At present there are some grudges that have made me feel angry and sad. They are grudges that I have with some people close to me. But the more hateful I feel towards them it makes me mentally sick. This renders me unable to move forward. Forgiving people for ruining your life isn’t weakness, it make you able to remove the fear that fills your head with dread.
One of the reasons I failed my exams is because I was constantly filling my head and my life with too much activity of different kinds. One moment I would study, one minute I would blog, then I would find some media to kill time with and then I’d realise that I lost valuable time that I could have used properly. Don’t keep filling your life like that. It will drain you. Learn to play with the time creatively and for the benefit of yourself.
As a matter of fact on that last one you should cut all the bad habits in your day to day life. Address those with postive behavioural change. Plan it with an effective strategy in mind.
I tend to obsess about perfecting and correcting my past experiences and presenting those that put me there. But what I need to work on is learning to be grateful for what I have got and what I can make from it.
The next time you settle down with a notebook write a list of things that you can be grateful for. It doesn’t have to be fanciful of complicated. Just write down a list of people or situations that you are thankful for.
Turning a negative into a postive is a step forward to thankful. I’ve had a lot of setbacks in my life. Once I tried to volunteer for the London Olympics in 2012. I failed to get a role because I made an error on my form so I didn’t get an interview. I couldn’t fix that as I missed the deadline. So I looked for something else to do for a big sports event and decided to try volunteering at another big sports event. That negative loss became a positive gain.
Later I turned my failed academic career at distance learning into a better way of achieving it. I had been good at the Open University but I probably got too indulged in it that I didn’t realise that I was starting suffer. So I had to get myself off that path and onto a different path. Hence why I am now at university full time.
As well as being grateful stop trash talking and bashing people. You can’t be happy if you are ungrateful towards others. Try thinking about what might be really bothering you. There is an underlying cause that could be making you so heavily critical of others. Do you consider yourself so important that you need to see to it that others are to your standards? Its not their fault because they are how they are, you can’t expect the world to run on your terms.
Limit the Goals in your Life
Limiting the number of goals in your life will show you at your best in the field that you find worthy. This time last year I was doing my exams the first time round and I took three weeks off from the campus and my revision. I had some things to do back home that meant that I had to get home to the family home. These were canvassing for the local elections, meeting up with some friends and taking time out to look at some other of my interests that I was obsessing about.
The time that I took away from my exams cost me valuable time and it resulted in me taking a year out for resits. I also missed an opportunity for resits in August that year because I was indulging in two other activities. I had a part time job and I was volunteering at the European Championships in Glasgow. Had I known better then I would have stayed on the campus with my textbooks and revision material and cancelled on everything else.
That is an example that you can learn from me. Stop filling your life with much thinking you can live the life of a superhero. You’ve got one life that is useful for a very good purpose and you have to put it to only one good purpose.
To fulfil my purpose I have thrown out what I no longer need to do. I now treat my campus home like my sanctuary not a temporary accommodation. Also I no longer do sports event volunteering or long distance job hunting. My academic career is the most valuable to me right now. I can’t be spending my money or my savings on things that give me no satisfyingly good outcomes.
Whenever you focus on one thing and give up the others you can create an incentive for doing that one goal. So if you are quitting the habit of expensive food and nights out then you can save that money aside for a more practical purchase like a new computer or put it towards a weekend trip to a holiday or for a hobby you already have.
Going through all these processes brings you to another objective. Envisioning the life you want will bring you full circle into a new way of living. Do this right and you will find that the changes you make will bring in the rewards later. Spend time collecting pictures and thoughts on a daily basis of this life that you want. You must be creative and ambitious.